The Ugly Carpet Dream of 2/27/07

A few nights ago, I dreamed that Josh and I moved to a new apartment. It was a large studio and had a very low ceiling. I remembered that it looked ok when we went to see it before deciding to buy it, but then after we bought it, it was awful inside. All of our furniture was inside and I felt claustrophobic because it was all one room and the ceiling was so low. The floor had a really ugly maroon carpet, so I tried to see if I could peel it up. It wasn't tacked down at all, so it came up very easily. It had a padded liner beneath it, and beneath that was an even worse carpet with its own padded liner, and beneath that, linoleum. I begged Josh to let us get wood flooring, but he said that he wasn't comfortable with the amount of time that would take, so we would just have to make the best of the carpet. The dream ended with me lying in bed, desperately trying not to panic, and moaning, "This feels like a horrible exile!"

My First ~Satisfying~ Sex Dream Ever, 12/4/06

The dream was fantastic. I don't remember too much in the way of coherent plot, but I do remember having two (2) orgasms. !!! I have never actually had an orgasm before from a sex dream, so I felt very pleased with myself upon waking up. I really hope it happens again. It was great! Do you understand what I'm saying here?? I had orgasms and I didn't even have to wake up. It was a beautiful gift from my brain.

A Little Consultation With the Dream Encyclopedia, 11/3/06

I don't necessarily believe that dreams foretell anything, but just to give myself as much information as possible about the poop and pee dreams, I thought I'd check it out. I am pretty sure that the pee dreams usually stem from my actually having to pee in real life. The poop, though... that's another story. I never wake up having to poop.

Pee: this is an unlucky dream symbol. To dream that you are peeing is an omen of bad luck and frustrating times ahead in love.

Poop: this is a great dream symbol, and if it turns out to be an accurate portent, I will stop all of my complaining about how I don't like dreaming about pooping. Poop is a lucky omen of money, wealth, and profits. The more embarrassing the situation, the more luck with money. Why do I suspect that this was made up by a bunch of people who were all as tired of dreaming about pooping as I am?

I guess I'll be unlucky in love at some point in the future, but I stand a good chance of becoming wealthy. Not too bad, considering that everyone ends up unlucky in love at one point or another, but not everyone ends up wealthy.

The Freckles Dream of 11/3/06

I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that my face was covered in big freckles. It took me a minute to figure out what they were. I wasn't in any way upset. It was more a feeling of trying to solve an interesting puzzle. I felt extremely satisfied once I figured out what was what.

The Poop Dream of 11/3/06

Last night, I dreamed about shitting. I was on the toilet and I'd get the poops most of the way out and then they'd stall. I was frustrated by this. Finally, I had the bright idea of wrapping my hand in toilet paper, reaching under there, and giving the poops a gentle pull. It worked! I did it twice, and both times it got the poops moving again and they slid out perfectly. I felt so empty and light afterwards. GROSS! Why I am I dreaming about this?!

In Which I Remember My Dead Grandfather, 10/31/06

Last night I dreamed that Pop was sick and I was helping him. He told me that he loved me and I told him that I loved him too.

This scenario is significantly unlike anything that happened in real life. Maybe it was inspired by the thin veil between ~the worlds~ on All Hallows Eve. I'm being sarcastic with the ~ because this dream actually freaked me out at the time.

The Thanksgiving Dream of 10/23/06

Last night in my dreams, it was Thanksgiving dinner and I was with my family. I was seated farthest from all of the foods and although I was ravenous, I could never seem to get much to eat. Everyone else was busy feeding themselves and so didn't notice that I was going hungry. After they were all finished, they assumed that I had eaten my fill just as they had and they kept asking me things like, "Aren't you so full after all that food? I know I am!" I finally said that I wasn't full and that I hadn't gotten enough, so my mother started to take leftovers and put them on my plate. I got up to get something for myself and when I came back, Lorraine and Joanne had taken my plate and all of the food away because they were trying to help get everything cleaned up. It ended with my grandmother telling me that she couldn't believe that I was still hungry after all of that food.

My family is never mean to me at all in real life and no one has ever taken my food away. I feel guilty for even dreaming that they did such a thing.

The Bridesmaid Dream of 10/19/06

Last night I dreamed that I was to be a bridesmaid in someone's wedding. I arrived at my hotel and had to find room 1032. It turns out that I've gone looking for room 1032 before, because there's a trick to finding it and I can remember blundering around for a long time in previous dreams, but this time, I only made one wrong turn. The trick is that you have to walk from a corridor of hotel rooms through an administrative office and out the other side to where the corridor of hotel rooms begins again. It's scary to walk through the office because you think someone will challenge you about what you're doing wandering through with a bunch of bags, but they never do. You just have to walk purposefully and don't appear to be lost.

I found room 1032 and it was very nice. It was, in fact, very similar to our hotel room at the Hotel Josef in Prague. I only stayed in 1032 for one night and then had to leave for a more hostel-like accomodation, which was very similar to one of the haciendas we stayed at in Ecuador. All the rooms there shared a bathroom, so I was trying to get ready for the wedding in a tiny bathroom that others wanted to use as well. I actually got quite a bit done before someone knocked, but I didn't manage to take a shower. Don't ask me what I was doing in there, not peeing and not showering, because I don't know. All I know is that I was working feverishly the entire time and yet got done none of what I really needed to do.

I finally relinquished the bathroom to another woman because I felt bad about how long I'd been in there. I thought that she might be in and out quickly, and then I could use it again. That didn't happen. I ended up trying to go back to room 1032, thinking that I could use the shower there. Sure enough, my key worked in the lock even though it wasn't my room any longer and was full of someone else's luggage. I dared to brush my teeth and take a shower, but I was too afraid to crap because I thought that the real occupant might return and find me. Instead, Josh found me and pointed out how the tiles in the shower were different than they had been the last time we'd stayed there. The new tiles had tiny signs of the Zodiac on them.

He was in a great hurry and asked me what time I had to be at the wedding and I looked at the clock and saw that it was 10am. I was supposed to be at the wedding at 10, but I couldn't remember if we were starting then or if that was just the time that the principal players were told to arrive.

The Thieving Mother Dream of 10/16/06

Last night I dreamed that I was traveling with an unreliable unidentified boyfriend in an unidentified foreign land. His mother borrowed my car and lost it, and left me a series of leads that I could follow up to attempt to get it back. In following up these leads, I went to an underground city where his mother was a celebrity. I kept trying to find her there, but there were crowds of unhealthy looking young women who kept insisting that I should have sex with them, and that we could have lots of fun together. Initially I ran away from them because I felt threatened, but then had the idea to tell them that I like to have sex with men and not with women, and once I said that, they let me pass without attacking me. They made my investigations difficult, however, and kept "borrowing" clothes from my bags and telling me contradictory information about my boyfriend's mother and the car. Finally, I decided that I would leave and try to get the car back in the above ground city.

My boyfriend came to help me because I didn't know which bus to take or where to get it. I still had to pack my bags and I just couldn't get it done. The women kept rifling through my clothes and no matter how hard I worked, I couldn't keep track of them all. I couldn't get them all back and most of all, I couldn't fit them all back into my bags. Meanwhile, my boyfriend was waiting at the bus stop and kept shouting at me to hurry up because the bus would arrive soon. I finally got everything packed into my bag and two extra bags and then tried to cross the busy highway separating me from the bus stop, but there were too many cars and I was carrying too much shit and I was afraid. Also, I kept remembering articles of clothing that were unaccounted for and getting annoyed about that.

My boyfriend's mother arrived in a fancy sports car and offered to give it to us so that we could drive to wherever we were going, but I was angry because I knew that she had probably "borrowed" it from someone and was now going to give it away. I knew then that I was never going to get my own car back because she had probably given it away too. I was really angry then and also despairing because I knew I was going to have to tell my father that the car was gone, and he would be angry at me for losing it. I didn't know how I was going to get out of that mess, but finally I had the idea to call the police and report the car stolen, which was a great relief to me.

I woke up suddenly, obsessed with the idea that I must go straight out to the garage to memorize the car's license plate number so that I would be able to report it stolen. It took a few seconds of lying there, foggy in my brain, to get a full understanding the situation and go back to sleep.

The Chinese Food Dream of 10/15/06

Last night, I dreamed that I was wandering the streets of China with Susan and someone else, possibly Lynn. We were looking for somewhere to eat. We found a place that was ostensibly a restaurant, but when we got inside, we found that it was set up like a restaurant, but instead had shelves of knick-knacky yard sale type crap at the back. You were supposed to peruse the shelves and take whatever you wanted, but once the waitress came in, then you would have to sit down and eat and you would not be able to pick up any new items or put back any of the ones you'd already taken. The three of us went to the shelves and didn't see anything we wanted, but then I looked closer and realized that some of the things were very valuable and desirable. I pointed this out to them and soon we were all digging through crap and finding treasure.

For some reason, I left them there and went back outside to wander the streets some more. I was nervous about leaving Susan behind because she spoke Chinese and I didn't (and don't in real life, either), but I did it anyway. Outside was a highway lined with gas stations/markets. One of them was called Ganjin.

I ended up finding a pastry store and going in and buying a really big, fatty, delicious confection. I walked back to the restaurant as I stuffed my face with it, and felt vaguely that I should finish eating before I went in to find Susan and Lynn again, but didn't. They had finished their meal by then and teased me about eating pastry. No one in the restaurant minded that I was eating food from another store as I was afraid that they would be.

The Poop Dream of 10/13/06

I don't even know how to describe this dream without sounding completely fucked up, so here goes: I dreamed that I was in a room with about 5 other people. I had to poop. I sat down on the toilet, which was off to the side of the room but not behind a door or enclosed in any kind of private area. In fact, one of the other people was sitting in a wheeled office type chair right next to the toilet. He was reading the newspaper. I pooped, feeling nervous the whole time about what sort of protocol I ought to observe. I considered doing a courtesy flush, but then didn't because no one seemed to have noticed that I was pooping and I didn't want to call their attention to it. I couldn't figure out if my own poop smelled, but the newspaper reader never moved his head or anything, so I assumed that my poop didn't smell.

Because I felt that the poop hadn't all come out, I stayed on the toilet for the better part of an hour, reading. I didn't flush the whole time. I just sat there, above my poop, while conversation flowed around me and the newspaper reader kept on reading. Finally, the other people all decided that they wanted to eat lunch, so they started getting up and moving around and talking about where they were going to go. One of them asked if I wanted to join them, but I had to poop again by then, so I said no and sat there and pushed out some more turds. These were loud.

Finally, most of the other people filed out and one woman stayed behind to chastise me for my bad poop manners. She said that I ought to have flushed the first poop right away, so I got flustered and said that I thought I ought to have, but that I hadn't been sure, etc. She acted as though I were really stupid to have not realized the importance of a courtesy flush. She said that the newspaper reader had been massively uncomfortable the entire time, and that all of the other people were annoyed that they hadn't been able to use the toilet themselves for an hour.

I'm pretty certain that I don't want to know the meaning of that dream.

Meet G, 10/12/06

Let me preface this with a little background information: sometimes I dream of ~a man~. He isn't anyone I've ever known. I think he is a composite of good characteristics that I've loved and admired in a whole series of people. He has changed and grown as I have gotten older and learned more and different things. I don't dream of him very often, but whenever I do I am always happy. I think of him as my brain's way of comforting me by showing me the best of human potential. In my notes, I always refer to him using an initial. These days, he is known as G or D, and before that he was E. Don't worry about what the initials stand for. It's just a way of abbreviating a concept that I find hard to put into words without straying into uncomfortable-for-me areas like overt spirituality, Anne Rice, or plain cheesiness.

This morning I woke up dreaming that I was calling G by a nickname, and that the nickname meant "for the peace and joy of serving you" in some other language, possibly Sanskrit (subconscious regret for the fact that I was indulging in extra sleep instead of going to yoga?). "Peace" doesn't totally cover the meaning that I felt the word had in my dream, but it's as close as my awake mind can come. The real meaning was something like, "for the peace/sincerity/contentment and joy of serving you." I wish I knew a real word in a real language that has such a meaning.

In the dream, I used the nickname and he asked me what it meant, and I remember feeling completely content as I told him the meaning. He smiled and laughed and hugged me.

The Undead Dream of 9/4/04

I dreamed that I was locked in a stone room and the walls began dripping with blood. A friend was in there with me, and I think that it was Susan. I sensed rather than saw the shapes of ghostly children swimming through the air outside the stone walls, and I understood that they were a menacing presence. A priest came in and tried to tell us that we were imagining things, and then he was somehow sucked against the door and began to fade until he disappeared. I got the impression that he had been pulled through. We could hear a sound like animals attacking a kill outside, and soon the door began to seethe with even more blood--the priest's. The children had eaten him. I had one vision of a ghostly girl swimming through the air--glasses on, hair swirling around her head like it would in water, and blood seething from between her teeth as she chewed up the priest. The children disappeared after that, but I could now feel the presence of the priest outside, and he was angry like the children had been. Marks began to appear on the wall noting all of the people who had died in the room. I saw a notation for each child, and I learned that they had been tortured and killed inside. A notation appeared at the very end for the priest, and I learned that he had been a sacrifice to mend the suffering of the children.

It was at this point that things took a novel turn. Somehow, the priest and Bindy became one, and I could see Bindy/the priest running around the floor of the room with her/his back up and generally acting like a really scared cat. I knew somehow that Bindy/the priest was a ghost and that the reason for her/his fear was that she/he couldn't understand what was different about her/himself. Josh came into the room and I terrifiedly asked if he could see Bindy/the priest, because I knew that if he couldn't, I'd know that she/he was a ghost. He couldn't, and then I freaked out, and it was probably at about this time that the real Bindy started bothering me. At any rate, I woke up and was spared any further contact with the undead.

Unsatisfactory Dreams of 4/4/04

1. An oh-shit-I-didn't-study-for-finals dream. I am so ready to be done with school. I am too old to still be dreaming about this crap.

2. Another makeout dream with an unspecified hot man. It ended before anything exciting could happen.

The Catholic Guilt Dream of 12/17/07

I was back in CCD after a long hiatus. Our teacher was a nun. She gave us a test and the class was hard at work on it. I was going along, writing in my answers to the questions, when I came to the following question: "You are told that a man is eating a rich diet of cabbage. What assumptions do you make about him?" This particular question was multiple choice, although the rest of them were open answer. I didn't like any of the choices because they were all things like "he is overweight" or "he is impoverished" or other crap that didn't make any sense. I realized that I could not agree with any of the suggested answers, so I wrote a long and profanity filled rant about how the question was ridiculous and unanswerable. Then I felt guilty about the prolific profanity, so I went back and crossed out all of the cuss words. You could still read them, though. No matter how hard I tried to block them out, they still showed through. That's because god can see right into your heart, I guess, and god knew that I still stood behind each and every "fuck" even though I felt guilty about saying them to a nun. Be careful about the Catholicism you instill in your children, people, because they may never fully escape the bonds of it.

I decided that the best course of action was to stop wasting time and finish the test. For some reason, I didn't want to fail this test even though I knew the entire thing was BS and that I didn't even have to be in CCD at all.

I realized that I didn't know how much time we were supposed to have to take the test, so I put the whole cabbage thing behind me and was diligent about the rest of the test. I wondered if the nun would think it was weird that I was such a nerd about the whole test apart from the cabbage question, when I turned into an angry nutcase who used a lot of bad language. After I finished each question, I thought sure that the nun would call time and ask us to put our pens down, but she never did. I was able to finish the entire test.

In Which I Try My Hand at Science Fiction Writing, 3/31/04

My dream involved me writing a science fiction story and feeling very at ease doing so. I thought it was interesting because although I like to read science fiction/fantasy novels, I've never tried writing anything of my own. I tend to lean toward straight fiction, but whenever I read my own writing, I find it not credible somehow. In my dream, the science fiction aspects of my work helped me get past the credibility issues.

Basic Sex Dream of 3/31/04

I had sexual dreams involving an unspecified man last night... he touched my boob and then we started making out. Nothing too exciting. My sex dreams never are. They stop just short of anything exciting happening.

The Italian Vacation Dream of 3/18/04

Last night's dream involved myself vacationing on an Italian island. The island was chock full of surfers because it was getting all kinds of crazy big waves. I just rode my bike to the beach to stand there and look at the waves with my friends, but a storm kicked up and we had to head inland. My friends all piled into a car, but for some reason the driver took on some hitchhikers, which meant that there was no room for me and someone else (random guy; I don't even know how he figured into the dream at all). I ended up walking inland with my bike and two other people; one was a friend during my first year of law school and the other was a summer associate with me. It was cool because the storm created enormous waves that you didn't even have to be on the beach to see. I remember being nervous about walking through some dark, wooded areas, but other than that it was a good dream. I didn't even mind so much about getting ditched by my friends with the car; although I was annoyed by it at the time, I didn't mind being rid of them either. I don't know who they were supposed to be because I didn't connect them up to anyone in my real life.

The Handicapped Motif of 3/13/04

I dreamed about E injuring himself and having to stay with me while he mended. He had broken his back or leg and was in a wheelchair and then on crutches, and I was taking him around the city and found us continuously stymied by things that normally present no obstacle to people with two functional legs.

It affected my whole the next day because as I walked around town, I noticed additional obstacles. At one restaurant, the path to the door was bordered by parking stops and the only way to get out of the path and into the parking lot was through the single gap in the parking stops, but that took me well out of the way I wanted to cut across the parking lot. I did it just to see what it felt like, in memory of the dream.

In Which Nipplegate Continues to Weigh on My Subconscious, 3/12/04

I dreamed that I was watching tv and all of a sudden the picture was taken over by close-ups of peoples' asses getting spanked. I was surprised and kept calling to my housemates (whoever they were...) to come check it out, and then we all talked about whether the fallout from that would be worse than the Janet Jackson tit debacle.

The Lactose Dream of 2/27/04

I dreamed that I was talking to someone about dreams, and he said that dragonflies are a symbol of lactose. I got excited and mentioned that I'd had a dream the previous night in which I was wrestling with a dragonfly, and then suggested that this might mean that I'm lactose intolerant. Which I am, although I found it out the normal way and not via dream.

The I'm-Afraid-of-Commitment Dream of 2/24/04

I dreamed of going to a rock climbing class with Josh and some friends. Afterwards, I went to Lauriol Plaza to meet my dad for lunch, and while I was waiting for him, one of the guys I'd met in the class called my cell phone to ask me out. I wasn't interested in him that way, but I wanted to say yes anyway because I thought it would make me feel less trapped by my engagement to Josh. I couldn't say yes, though, because Josh was right there hearing my side of the conversation... so I had to say no and then spent the rest of the dream plotting ways that I could somehow find the guy to explain that I'd really wanted to say yes. I guess that in my dream, my cell phone did not have caller ID, because that would have made more sense than some of the stupid crap the dream-me came up with.

Vignettes of 2/23/04

It started off with the toilet breaking, moved on to my being unable to get my hair to curl, and ended with me swimming in a snow-covered open sea off my family's boat. I kept remarking to myself how beautiful the white snow looked as I disturbed it with my strokes. In my dream, I found the cold invigorating and then when I emerged from the water and looked down at my body, I was jiggling with fat and realized that that was how I had stayed so warm.

The Bus/Spa Nightmare of 2/21/04

I was on a bus with Susan and some other college friends, and the driver told us that he was planning to take many scenic detours, so if we wanted to get off and walk or run part of the main road, we could do that and flag the bus down later and get back on. I decided to do that, so I got off and started to run on the main road. It was a fantastic run, and eventually I noticed that the air became quite thick. It reminded me of the way that water has surface tension, except the air became much thicker than that. The thickness started at around my chest level, so I found that by making a swimming motion with my arms and grabbing a fistful of the thick air, I could pull myself as I ran, and this made it much easier. None of the other runners were doing it, though, and I couldn't figure out why. I wished that they would figure it out, because I was worried that I looked really stupid. Anyway, at a certain point, I decided to get back on the bus, so I tried to flag it down, but the driver didn't see me.

I tried to take a shortcut through a spa to catch up to the bus, but I got lost in a stairwell and soon my problem became finding a way out of the spa at all. I went into a bathroom because I figured that I probably ought to pee and get some water, but I couldn't figure out the toilet mechanism. I heard people peeing, but I couldn't see anything that looked like a toilet, so I decided to get a drink. I tried the water fountain, but its water tasted bad. I noticed other people drinking from the sinks, so I went to an available sink. The water pressure was weak, so all I could do was suck the water off as it ran down the side of the sink. After I stood up from that endeavor, I felt my mouth full of sink scum, and I woke up nearly ready to vomit. I've been awake for hours now, and I still have to fight away the memory of my mouth full of sink scum.

Breakfast was a difficult meal, but I pushed through.

Janet Jackson/Auto Parts Nightmare of 2/21/04

Josh, E, and I were walking through a parking lot when we noticed Janet Jackson coming toward us. She was wearing bright orange pants that were covered in grease marks and she was carrying a large cardboard box full of piping hot auto parts. It smelled terrible and I was afraid of them because they stunk so bad. As she came abreast of us, I could see that the auto parts looked like figure-eight-shaped pieces of silvery metal, and three-ring binders. She took one of the figure eights out and started attacking me with it, which burned slightly because it was very hot. I remember feeling surprised that the burning was not more severe, given how much the parts were steaming with heat. It didn't seem to bother Janet at all. Anyway, I screamed in terror of the smell and tried to run away, but I woke up before anything more could happen.

I am pretty sure that Janet Jackson was only in this dream because of the wardrobe malfunction, which was still in the recent past.