The Poop Dream of 10/13/06

I don't even know how to describe this dream without sounding completely fucked up, so here goes: I dreamed that I was in a room with about 5 other people. I had to poop. I sat down on the toilet, which was off to the side of the room but not behind a door or enclosed in any kind of private area. In fact, one of the other people was sitting in a wheeled office type chair right next to the toilet. He was reading the newspaper. I pooped, feeling nervous the whole time about what sort of protocol I ought to observe. I considered doing a courtesy flush, but then didn't because no one seemed to have noticed that I was pooping and I didn't want to call their attention to it. I couldn't figure out if my own poop smelled, but the newspaper reader never moved his head or anything, so I assumed that my poop didn't smell.

Because I felt that the poop hadn't all come out, I stayed on the toilet for the better part of an hour, reading. I didn't flush the whole time. I just sat there, above my poop, while conversation flowed around me and the newspaper reader kept on reading. Finally, the other people all decided that they wanted to eat lunch, so they started getting up and moving around and talking about where they were going to go. One of them asked if I wanted to join them, but I had to poop again by then, so I said no and sat there and pushed out some more turds. These were loud.

Finally, most of the other people filed out and one woman stayed behind to chastise me for my bad poop manners. She said that I ought to have flushed the first poop right away, so I got flustered and said that I thought I ought to have, but that I hadn't been sure, etc. She acted as though I were really stupid to have not realized the importance of a courtesy flush. She said that the newspaper reader had been massively uncomfortable the entire time, and that all of the other people were annoyed that they hadn't been able to use the toilet themselves for an hour.

I'm pretty certain that I don't want to know the meaning of that dream.